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You want your career to move forward. You want clarity, progress, and a path that feels authentic. And yet, for some reason, you’re stuck. Going over the same questions, hesitating, or holding back from the moves you know you should take.

It’s easy to blame motivation or confidence. But often, the real reason is something inside you pulling you in two different directions at once. And that’s frustrating as hell.

Self-sabotage isn’t what you think it is

At its core, this kind of self-sabotage happens when two things pull you in different directions. You might say you want more from your career (more freedom, recognition, impact). But underneath that, there’s a hidden worry: “If I actually succeed, something could go wrong.”

That belief could sound like:

• “If I become more successful, I’ll be judged—or worse, rejected.”
• “If I earn more, I’ll lose touch with the people I love.”
• “If I stand out, I’ll make others uncomfortable.”
• “If I change, I won’t belong.”

These aren’t logical thoughts. And most of the time, we don’t even notice them until we slow down and pay attention.

But when we do notice, we can start to see how they show up in our actions or inactions. You might call it procrastination, telling yourself you’re “just waiting for the right time.” Maybe you keep applying for safe jobs that don’t really excite you. You start projects, then abandon them. Or you talk yourself out of opportunities before anyone else can.

All of these are ways of playing small. And playing small can feel familiar. Comforting, even. If you don’t really try, you can’t really fail. There’s a strange kind of safety in the stories we tell ourselves!

Clarity Starts Within

That safety can make us think the solution is to “do more”: update your CV, apply for more jobs. But sometimes, the first step isn’t external. It’s internal.

Ask yourself:

• What do I believe I might lose if I get what I say I want?
• Is there a part of me that benefits from staying stuck?
• What fear is hiding underneath my hesitation?

These questions aren’t easy. They ask for honesty, which can feel uncomfortable but also freeing. By asking them, you start to see your patterns not as mistakes, but as strategies. Strategies that once kept you safe, but no longer serve who you’re becoming.