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We all carry “shoulds”. Those invisible rules about who we’re supposed to be, what jobs we should have, and what success should look like. From a young age, they shape our choices: “You should pick a safe career,” “You should climb the ladder fast,” “You should be more confident.”
These expectations often come from family, culture, or past experiences. On paper, they seem reasonable. But what if the life you’re building around these “shoulds” no longer fits who you are?
“Should” is a trap. It keeps you stuck in a story that isn’t yours. It can feel like carrying a heavy backpack full of other people’s hopes and old ideas about success. The more you try to live up to those “shoulds,” the more disconnected you feel from yourself.
The Cost of “Should”
Living under the weight of “should” doesn’t just drain your energy. It kills all your creativity, passion, and authenticity. It creates a constant tension between what you do and what you actually want. Psychologists call this cognitive dissonance. Over time, it can lead to anxiety, burnout, and a feeling of being stuck, even when everything looks fine on the outside.
It usually shows up in two ways:
- Analysis Paralysis: You know what you “should” do next, but it feels like a dead end. You overthink every option, afraid of making the wrong move because it wouldn’t fit what “should” be.
- Quiet Resentment: You’re achieving goals others set or you once believed in, but inside you’re disconnected, exhausted, and wondering, “Is this really what I want?”
How Coaching Helps Break Free
Coaching offers a way out of the pressure of “should.” It’s not about telling you what to do next. It’s about helping you uncover what you TRULY want underneath all those expectations. Coaching gives you space to question the story you’ve been living by and try out a path that actually feels authentic.
Through thoughtful questions and supportive listening, coaching helps you:
- Spot the “shoulds” that no longer serve you.
- Explore where these expectations came from. Are they really yours, or inherited from others?
- Clarify what success actually means to you, not anyone else.
- Give yourself permission to design your career and life on your own terms.
